2022_11_14 Insight Post- Kim Feld

One of the areas that I work in at New Hope is our lay counseling program. We have such a wonderful, committed group of lay counselors! They genuinely care and desire to help others. One issue that surfaces a lot is self-image. So many carry deeply rooted shame from the past that impacts their ability to live fully in the present. These areas of wounding are real and often set us up for harmful strategies as we try to compensate. However, there is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is when I feel bad for something I’ve done; shame says I am bad and impacts how I see myself.

Paul begins his letter to the Ephesians with an incredible declaration for Christ-followers. He tells us that we are loved and chosen. How easy it is to forget that; when our circumstances may tell us something very different! Let’s take a look at what Paul has to say in Ephesians 1:4-8:

⁴ Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. ⁵ God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. ⁶ So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. ⁷ He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. ⁸ He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

In these four verses, Paul tells us God loved and chose us even before He created the world. He says that God decided in advance, before we had any opportunity to prove our worthiness (an impossibility), to adopt us into His family. And to me, the most incredible part is that He did it because He wanted to, and it brought Him pleasure to do it! Sit with that thought for a minute.

Many of us have had life circumstances that have told us the opposite of Paul’s words. Feeling chosen and delighted in has been replaced by feelings of abandonment and shame. Those experiences can make it extremely difficult to accept that we are valuable in God’s eyes. But if we allow ourselves to trust this as truth, it has the power to change everything.

What do you think God sees when He looks at you? Is it hard to believe that God calls you His son or daughter? Healing wounds from our past is a journey. Yet our freedom from guilt and shame has been purchased at great expense with the blood of Jesus. God is committed to us. Healing and hope are available.

If reading this has stirred up anything for you that you would like to talk with someone about, please let us know. We would love to help. Please email us at laycounseling@newhope.org.

Kim Feld
Executive Director of Education and Outreach