2023_05_15 Insight Post- Kim Feld

  -   May 15, 2023

This week’s reading-  Psalm 119

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
(Psalm 119:105, KJV)

Over the last few weeks, we have hit on legacy and generational sins in our Bible Study and Prayer Night recordings. The topic fascinates me as I look at my own history and the family histories of those I meet with as a lay counselor. Our families of origin leave a lasting imprint on us. As I read Psalm 119 this week, I have been reminded of my personal history and the power one person can have on the life of another.

I was not raised in a Christian home. My family has long been plagued with alcoholism and its devastating effect on health and wholeness. I can trace substance abuse through many generations of my family, and sadly, it continues today. Some of my family members have fought for and maintained sobriety, but the pre-sobriety scars remain. God is gracious and has brought about much healing, but some lost things cannot be regained.

I was extremely close to my maternal grandparents. My mother always worked full-time, so my grandmother was my childcare provider from when I was born until I entered elementary school. My grandfather was a coal miner, and he and my grandmother raised a family amidst poverty in coal mining communities. My grandparents married as very young teenagers due to an unplanned pregnancy. Life was hard for them, but as a young adult, my grandmother found Jesus. She was baptized in a creek in winter, with snow falling and ice floating in the water. Her life was changed.

I loved having sleepovers at my grandparents’ house. I vividly remember my grandmother kneeling by her bed to pray before sleeping. She prayed over me for my future, asking God to bless and guide me. She took me to church, and when I was eight years old, she gave me my first Bible. It was a white King James Bible, and inside the cover, she wrote these words, borrowing from Psalm 119:105, “Kim, I pray that this Bible will be a lamp unto your feet and light to your pathway.” My Bible is no longer white, and when I pick it up, it threatens to fall apart, but it is one of my most beloved possessions.

As many of you know, I love to read and study God’s Word. As I was reminded this week, my grandmother prayed that over me. Her simple words expressed her desire for the Bible to be my guide. I have her Bible marked with dates showing when she read specific passages, as was her habit every morning until her eyesight denied her that privilege. In her last hours, I read God’s Word to her, and she was comforted by the phrases that she had built her life and hope for the future upon. That hope is now her reality in heaven. I miss her terribly and can’t wait to see her again. I believe Jesus has revealed to her the impact she had on my life and how her words prayed over a little girl, took root, and grew.