2024_07_15 Insight Post- Kim Feld
This week’s reading- Genesis 27-30
Jacob is a fascinating, multi-faceted character in the Bible. He was devious, lied, and schemed, yet when he turned to God, he became an integral part of God’s plan. I take comfort in the fact that my past does not have to dictate my future and that God can redeem anything surrendered to Him.
As Jacob’s story progresses beyond this week’s reading, he eventually leaves Laban with his wives and tremendous accumulated wealth. He will have to face the brother he betrayed and stole from and fears for his life. Genesis 32 records the story of Jacob wrestling with God and ultimately receiving a name change from Jacob to Israel. Thinking of this story, I found a prayer called “A Liturgy for Those Wrestling with God” written by Audrey Elledge and Elizabeth Moore (2022) that I wanted to share with you. This prayer is based on Genesis 32:22-32, Psalm 38:9, and Hosea 12:3-5. This prayer resonated with me; I hope it also does with you.
A Liturgy for Those Wrestling with God
Here we are, Oh Lord:
creature and Creator grappling and grabbing,
all elbows and dust.
I did not expect my encounter with You to be so gritty, so fleshy,
and did not plan to struggle in the shadows with my God.
But tonight You have come, so I trade my sleep for combat
and my rest for sweat.
I will not let you go until You bless me.
All my longings are remembered by You, and all my fears laid bare.
You already know what I doubt and what I seek
and the name of what I need.
Oh God of Jacob, I wrongly believed my prayer would first
be met with an answer;
but instead, You have given me Yourself
and have met me face-to-face under the stars.
You are not a God who rebukes boldness or scorns audacity,
so I will stay on the mat until something moves.
I will not let You go until You bless me.
Winded and wounded, I trust that Your presence here means I am not forgotten.
Oh Father, You have found me in the desert and refuse to leave me alone,
unwilling to let Your child go down without a fight.
Only the living can wrestle, so let me draw on Your strength,
and grant me the sort of persistence You honor.
May my outward struggle flow from the inner realization that
I am not grasping for straws
but rather gripping the wrists of the One who offers His own body,
the surest thing I can hold.
I will not let You go until You bless me.
Oh God of Israel, my bruises are proof that I was not ignored,
I have wrestled with You and triumphed,
not because I received everything I wished for
or because You succumbed to my will
but because I have been touched by the One who loves me,
crippled by grace,
and have limped into the promised land with a new name.
Amen
Kim Feld
Executive Director of Education and Outreach
Reference: Elledge, A., & Moore, E. (2022). Liturgies for Hope. Wate