2023_08_18 Insight Post- Karenna Rowenhorst
This week’s reading- Psalm 72, Ecclesiastes 12, Psalm 118, Song of Songs 1
Song of Songs can be read as either a story of romantic love or an allegory of the love between Christ and the church. Whichever way you read it; I was not expecting to find advice on how to relate to myself in this first chapter of Song of Songs. I was really struck by the verse where the young woman says:
“My mother’s sons were angry with me;
They made me caretaker of the vineyards,
But I have not taken care of my own vineyard.“ Song of Songs 1:6 NASV
Have you ever felt like you had to do something for someone else, and then discovered that you didn’t have any time or energy left to care for yourself? We don’t know all the details of this young woman’s situation; like what would have happened if she had refused? Could she have appealed to her mother or father for fairer treatment? But I think we can appreciate the principle this poem illustrates. If we are busy pleasing other people and the requests (or demands) that they place on us, we won’t be available to tend to our own needs.
But where is the line? Aren’t we called to serve others? It’s good to have responsibilities and to care for others, but if the way we engage with these responsibilities doesn’t allow us time to care for ourselves, then something is out of alignment. There needs to be a balance of care for others and care of our own souls. And the thing is, no one else can stand up for us and say that other than ourselves! We are the guardians of our daily life and how we choose to spend our time and energy. No one else can choose that for us. No one can be you in your life but you.
The young woman also distances herself from her brothers, who apparently forced her to work for them, under grueling conditions. She relates how her skin has been darkened from the sun because she was forced to work in the vineyard by her “mother’s sons” (notice she doesn’t call them her brothers. Just like I remember my mom doing with my brothers – telling my dad that “his sons” were causing trouble!). Do you distance yourself from problems – or people – that need to be addressed head-on? I know I am guilty of this. It may feel easier in the moment to sacrifice my own needs to meet the demands of another. But in the long run, giving up our needs for the sake of another will cause resentment and bitterness to build up.
So let’s make an effort to care for ourselves. This care will look different for each of us, and the things we need to prioritize will be different. Caring for ourselves doesn’t mean self-indulgence, care means more like the patient tending of a garden. A watchful eye for weeds and parasites, keeping everything well-watered. Pruning when necessary. And most importantly, staying connected with God, who is the ultimate gardener. Jesus tells us in John 15:4-5 (NLT), “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”
We are well and whole when we are connected to Jesus. He provides the life-giving nourishment our souls need to grow and thrive.
Karenna Rowenhorst
Senior Director of Education