July 17: Insight Post by Michael Thayer
Friday Insight Post
by Michael Thayer
In the same way, you who are younger must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5 (NLT)
I have a strong personality. My wife also has a strong personality. And I can be stubborn.
When we were first married, we argued (a lot) about many things, big and small. And not particularly well. In my wife’s home and family, her mom held a lot of sway. In mine, it was my father. Even with the great benefit of Rusty’s premarital counseling session, early on in our marriage, submission was not our objective. Certainly not to each other most times, but looking back, also not to God.
We have gotten better. Our faith has grown stronger, and our knowledge of our Lord and His heart has certainly deepened in our almost 26 years of marriage. We still have “spirited debates”, but I think we’re doing better at listening to and hearing each other. I am still a work in progress…
One of the questions from our reading is: How can submission build stronger relationships in your family or community?
I don’t believe that God allowed the significant health issue we are dealing with into our lives during our first year of marriage to humble us, or to have us submit to Him. I do believe He used our circumstances to enable us to see that we needed to submit to and have faith in Him. When life gets hard, and we’re navigating the various challenges and obstacles that the disease requires us to negotiate, we rely on Him for strength and perspective. The strength of our relationship with each other has grown as our relationship with, reliance upon, and submission to God has increased.
A second question from our reading is: What keeps you from practicing mutual submission?
I will only speak for myself (I've learned a thing or two), and not for my wife. Pride and self-centeredness keep me from submitting. I am called to love my wife just as Christ loves the church - how much did our Lord selflessly sacrifice for the church, for us, for me? If that is the standard, too often I don’t come close to measuring up. But I am trying, and growing, and hopefully pleasing Him while doing so.
Michael Thayer
Leadership Team Member
New Hope Church
Lorton, Virginia
www.newhope.org